The Best Zombie Show You’ll See This Year

To fresh eyes, Japanese television appears to be about 80% food shows and 20% watching celebrities watch videos. Over time, the percentages improve as you discover the hidden treasures of Japanese TV, including some pretty decent detective/crime shows and, of course, the comedy. In the latter category, a YouTube channel called Funny Japan has done the English speaking world a great favor by subtitling the best 13 minutes of comedy you’ll see in any language.

The show sets it up nicely. Children have been practicing for the zombie apocalypse and their mom asks Knight Scoop (the show) to give them the real test. The accommodating zombie gives a written warning before showing up and falls prey to their carefully set traps, including Tabasco sauce and packing tape. Well worth the watch - and a possible parenting strategy for all of us with kids to encourage them to cooperate more.

Is Anpanman Going to Be Ok?

I worry about Anpanman a lot these days. Anpanman is a popular show for children that we get on the TV Japan channel and I get to see a lot of it because my son is currently a fan. All I can say is that Japanese children’s television is deeply concerning.

With Anpanman, my concerns are largely metaphysical. Anpanman is a bit like Superman, if Superman had a removable head made of pastries and sweet bean filling. Anpanman can fly, he is incredibly strong and he goes around helping people and punching out bad guys. This is all great stuff. I hope that Aito grows up incredibly strong with the ability to fly, help people and punch out bad guys, so there are many lessons that he can pick up from Anpanman.

Unfortunately, like Superman and kryptonite, Anpanman has a weakness - the fact that his head is basically dough and sweet beans. If his head gets dented, dirty, wet, or fed to hungry animals (as sometimes happens), Anpanman’s power wanes. The solution for Anpanman is to replace his head with an entirely new head. This brings him back to full power and allows him to “An-punch” his enemies so hard that they disappear over the horizon.

What I wonder, though, is whether or not Anpanman is actually Anpanman anymore after switching heads. Sure, we think that Anpanman is the same person because he does and says the same things, but isn’t it also possible that Jam Ojisan, Anpanman’s creator, is baking a new individual with each head? Could we be seeing the death of a hero every time Anpanman’s head gets changed?

Besides the existentially terrifying question of the disposable hero heads, there is the change that would have on the show itself. If each head is a different hero, then Anpanman’s nemesis, Baikinman, doesn’t actually fail each episode. In fact, he’s slowly working his way through all of the potential Anpanmans until the day when Jam Ojisan runs out of sweet beans and flour.

Of course, it would be easy to chalk up my worries about Anpanman to Japanese cartoons being quirky, but I’ve realized that it has nothing to do with Japan. Thomas the Tank Engine, another of my son’s favorites, also contains some big questions. Sir Topham Hat can’t go one episode without mentioning that all the train’s should be “really useful engines.” In fact, most of the episodes are about the trains competing to be more useful or agonizing about not being useful enough. The question I have is what exactly are the engines so scared of? What did Sir Topham Hat do to inspire that kind of fear? What happens to the engines that don’t measure up?

Now, you might say I am reading too much into both these shows - and you’d be right. I have a lot of spare time to think while watching these shows. Anpanman and Thomas tend to be a bit formulaic in the plot department. It’s almost like they were written for kids. As a person in an international marriage, I am all for understanding and appreciation between cultures. And one thing I think we can agree on is that children’s shows are crazy in any culture.

Working and Living in Japan: Joining Private Club Activities

Previously we looked at how to join a school club in Japan. Now we’ll look at how to join a private club – a club where you can practice and compete with adults as well as receive instruction from qualified club teachers.

Finding a Club

The process of finding an adult club can be a little more complicated. If you are absolutely new to your town of city, the first step is to find the community center (kouminkan) in your area. These will usually have a registry of the clubs that use rooms there as well as an events calendar listing tournaments that the clubs compete it. Even ikebana (flower arranging) has annual competitions. As with school clubs, it is possible to do the research just by staking out the club areas. Simply, hang around a baseball diamond after working hours to find an adult baseball club or go to the martial arts center (shidoukan or budoukan) to find a kendo club.

There are also job-related clubs - for example, a high school teacher’s soccer team - that may be easier to join than a fully private club. Teachers’ clubs generally have a lighter practice schedule because of the heavy workload Japanese take on. The usual time for people to view and join clubs is in the spring when the Japanese year traditionally begins. As many people are shuffled around in both the public and private sector at this time, it means clubs lose members and are searching for new ones. It is fine to check out clubs at any time, but just keep in mind that some may not be looking for new members right when you’re ready to join.

Before Joining Up

It is important to know your limitations when joining a private club. Sports and martial arts clubs usually have several levels to choose from. When a Japanese member joins, he or she is assessed by the teachers/coaches/management and placed at the appropriate level. With foreigners, however, the people in charge are occasionally too timid and let the foreigner decide their own level. If you play soccer at a beginners level, it’ll be difficult for you to fit into an A-class club because people in that class have played competitive soccer for six years or more. Similarly, if you play hockey at a university level, but join a C-class team, the other teams you play will be understandably upset.

What if the club nearest to you doesn’t have an appropriate level? There may be a practice-only option. This is an option that doesn’t exist for most Japanese people, but many clubs will make an exception for a foreigner in the name of international friendship. You can usually practice with a club even if you won’t be allowed to enter competition with them. This is something you will have to discuss directly with the club managers as it may affect your club fees.

Paying Your Dues

Joining a private club involves a financial commitment along with the time commitment. Many private clubs in Japan are run like small-market sports teams, complete with team managers and coaching staff that are paid by the club. The costs of joining a club vary according to the type and the level. For example, a kimono club starts cheap (not including the cost of buying a kimono), but as you progress in levels your lessons increase in price.

The same is true of sports club. C-class hockey clubs practice the same amount as A-class clubs, but they enter less tournaments in a year, and that is reflected in the membership price. On top of the initial fee, you may need to pay out-of-pocket for special events or travel expenses. Also, there will be instances where you will be expected to give money as a gift. The hat is passed around whenever a member gets married, has a child, or someone in their immediate family dies. Usually this amounts to a maximum 5000 yen per person, and it’d be bad taste to opt out.

Getting Out

The same methods used for school clubs – direct, excuse, rotational – work for privates clubs, but you may not be able to get your club fees returned. If you are considering coming back after awhile or going on a rotational basis, you may have to pay the entire club fee for the year even if you only go occasionally. This is standard for Japanese club members and, although they may give you special consideration as a foreigner, don’t expect it. Generally speaking, the unused portion of your club fees is considered apology money for quitting the club.

Conclusion

Private clubs are an excellent way to meet people in your area with similar interests. They are also one of the best places to increase your Japanese ability. It is important to remember that Japanese people take clubs very seriously, so you should do your due diligence in finding a club that you’ll be happy staying with for awhile. That said, don’t let caution stop you from using clubs as a gateway into your community and Japanese culture as a whole.

Joining a School Club in Japan

Joining a club is one of the quickest ways to adjust to Japan and take part in your community. Whether you want to shoot hoops, shoot arrows (kyuudo), arrange flowers (ikebana), make pottery, study drumming (taiko), or strap on a mawashi and moonlight as a sumo wrestler, there is probably a club for you. We'll look at how to join a school club.

The Japanese Club System

Clubs have an important place in Japanese society. Students choose a club when they start junior high school and remain in that club for three years, choosing to either continue with the same club in high school or try out a different club for the last three years of schooling. Clubs are not mandatory, but there is a lot of pressure to join from teachers, parents, and peers, so there are very few students who don’t participate in some type of club during their school days. Sports related clubs like soccer and baseball start as early as grade 3 with practices every day.

Finding a School Club

If you are working for the public school system, finding a school club is very easy. Most clubs begin within an hour of the end of classes and, although it is better to talk to the teacher in charge of the club first, you can find the club you’re looking for by wandering around one of your schools. If you’re not a regular sight at a particular school, it’s important to visit the teachers’ room and announce yourself to either the principal, vice-principal, or the schedule teacher and tell them you want to watch the club activities.

Joining Up

Joining a school club is usually very easy. You need to observe the club once or twice to see if it’s what you want. If there’s a sport that you’ve been doing for a long time, you can probably just show up in training wear and try out the club on the first day – ask the club teacher beforehand. If you are good, the teacher may even ask you to take some of the training responsibilities. On the other hand, if you want to try something that you’ve never done before, it requires a bit more consideration.

If it is a training intensive club like Judo – where both participants safety depends on their knowing the proper techniques - you’ll have to catch up in a way that doesn’t affect the students’ progress. In all likelihood, however, both the students and teacher will be happy to have you. Likewise if the club is material intensive like art, you’ll want to either buy your own materials or pay the club fee and have extra materials ordered through the school. Make sure to watch two or more practices before making your decision so you know exactly what you are signing up for.

Getting Out

What do you do if you’ve joined a club and you find out it’s not for you? Ideally this won’t happen if you’ve researched the club properly. That said, it is easy to over-join and end up running yourself ragged with several clubs, each requiring significant time commitments. There are several ways to get out of a school club. Simply telling the club teacher directly is one, but it may affect your ability to join clubs at that school in the future.

Next, there is the excuse method, excusing yourself from practice - no actual reason is needed, just say you can’t make it – for a few weeks and then just not going again. This seems to be more acceptable in the non-confrontational sense. The final method is not to completely quit, but rather go on a rotational basis. For example, sports clubs often practice for two hours, with the first hour focusing technical practice and the last hour being matches. You can work out an agreement with the club teacher to show up for the last hour of the club once or twice a week – even once or twice a month – and thus keep your connection with the club and the students while reclaiming most of your time.

Summing Up

Although school clubs are good for sports and some basic cultural clubs, they are limited in a couple ways. One, you’re a teacher and an adult, so you don’t want to go full-out in a sports club like Judo and accidentally hurt one of your students. Lawsuits are very rare in Japan, particularly within club activities, but injuring a student still leaves you feeling terrible. Two, the students are usually new to the activities and sometimes the teacher is as well, so you may find the level of instruction lacking. The best reason to join school clubs is to get to know your students, rather than to get a workout or master a new art form.

Understanding Sumo: Techniques

Sumo can resemble judo or the defensive line of an NFL games, depending on the match. In the course of a top-rank match the pendulum may swing between raw power and technical precision many times before one wins the day. In this article, we’ll look at sumo techniques. You can find an introduction to the sport of sumo here.

Pushing

The most common technique in sumo is pushing. There are more than seven listed techniques that, with small distinctions, all amount to pushing an opponent out of the ring or down to the clay. Pushing or push-out can be misleading terms, so the translators for the sumo federation usually use force-out instead. This is meant to capture the sense of impact as well as the follow-up thrusting that is required to drive a man weighing between 260 and 400 pounds seven feet backwards against his will. We’ll bend to convention and use force-out from here on.

The tachiai, the crouched position that wrestlers start from, is vital to a successful force-out. A wrestler must reach the point of maximum momentum a split second before striking his opponent. This is easier said than done, as the space that a wrestler has to work with is often less than a step. If a wrestler comes out of the tachiai too slowly, his opponent can usually win simply by halting his momentum and causing a misstep for an easy fall. If both wrestlers come out slowly, they generally end-up deadlocked in the center of the ring and have to go to the belt. If, however, the taichiai is executed just right, it will have the double effect of forcing an opponent up and back, while also creating space for the wrestler to come in low and either get a hold of the belt or simply continue thrusting and pushing.

Belt Techniques

Top level sumo is all about the belt. Top flight wrestlers have to be effective on the belt, both in getting a dominant hold and initiating the throw. As the belt is connected to another sumo wrestler, power plays as much as role in maintaining a grip as technique does in making a successful throw. Once a wrestler gets an inside grip or outside grip on a belt, he has many techniques to choose from. Using the belt to twist and upset his opponents balance, the wrestler can sweep out his opponents leg, force down his opponents head, try for a more dominant two-handed grip, and so on.

If a wrestler can’t get a hand on the belt, he can try to execute a beltless throw using the same techniques and counting on the opponents balance to give out first. This can be a double-edged sword as flesh is more slippery than a belt, and a miss leaves the wrestler facing the wrong way with his opponent behind him. The most effective beltless throws involve catching an opponent’s arm at the elbow and using the locked joint as a lever to move him. Because of the high risk of failure, most wrestlers use beltless throws as a last resort.

“Dirty” Tricks

Just like a boxer who follows his hooks with his forehead, there are techniques in sumo that, while legal, are frowned upon. The feinting techniques, either sidestepping or jumping after the tachiai in hopes that your opponent’s momentum will carry him out, are considered cheap. A feint is acceptable to halt a losing streak or gain majority wins, but, if a wrestler does it too often, his opponents will take their revenge the next time.

A Matter of Class

The variation of techniques increases as you move up through the ranks. In the lowest ranks and the amateur levels, a vast majority of wins come from force-outs and those wins generally go to the largest wrestler. The highest ranks are dominated by technicians and large men capable of playing both sides. You don’t need to understand all the techniques to enjoy watching sumo, but understanding just how much strategy goes into a bout that lasts less than a minute can help you appreciate on a deeper level.

Understanding Sumo: An Introduction to Sumo

With its religious origins, extreme training system, and deep connection to traditional Japanese culture, it is difficult to find a sport comparable to sumo. In an age when athletes are measuring their body fat to the decimal, sumo dares to be big. It would be a mistake, however, to underestimate the athleticism of sumo wrestlers. They collide with the same force as NFL linebackers while wearing little more than a silk loincloth. This article is an introduction to the world of professional sumo.

A Brief History

The history of sumo is long, reaching back over 1000 years. Sumo was originally part of the harvest rituals that can still be found in every part in Japan in the modern form of festivals. Wrestlers would fight to gain the favor of the gods and plead for a bountiful harvest. Ancient sumo probably resembled pre-Queensbury boxing, with very few rules and a great deal of brutality. This changed when sumo was integrated into the pomp and ceremony of the Imperial Court.

To meet the tastes of the Emperor and other nobles, formalized rules removed some of the more brutal practices like eye-gouging and high kicks. Open-handed strikes to the throat and face, arm-locks, head-butting were deemed civil enough and are still acceptable techniques today. As Japan’s population became more concentrated in cities, the demand for entertainment increased. A class of professional sumo wrestlers emerged to provide it. Newly formed governing bodies organized regular tournaments outside of the traditional imperial schedule, furthering sumo’s popularity and making it Japan’s national sport.

Ceremony

Modern sumo has kept many of the trappings from its religious past. The clay ring, called dohyo, is specially constructed beneath a hanging shrine, blessed, and then purified by each wrestler before they enter. Wrestlers toss a handful of salt into the ring each time they step over the bales. Similarly, both the opening and closing ceremonies on tournament days follow the traditional formula. The yokozuna performs the opening ritual (dohyo-iri) before the upper divisions begin their matches, and the bow dance (yumitori-shiki) brings a close to the day.

Rules

The rules have also survived from the Imperial Court with very little alteration. A wrestler can win in two ways: a) he forces his opponent out of the ring or b) his opponent touches the ground with any part of his body, excepting his feet of course. The most common techniques are the push-outs (yorikiri, tsukidashi, and other variations) and throws using the mawashi (silk belt) for leverage. A wrestler cannot strike with a closed fist, kick an opponent above the knees, grab on to the portion of the mawashi covering his opponents sensitive bits, or pull on an opponent’s top not.

Training

Most professional sumo wrestlers have been doing sumo since childhood. Generally they begin with a sumo club in elementary school and, if they rank highly in national tournaments, a training stable will pick them up after junior high school. From that point on, wrestlers live at their stables and train daily. The training regime is very harsh and, in 2007, a young wrestler died as the result of a disciplinary beating that are a part of many wrestler’s daily life. Some wrestlers have come to professional sumo through university sumo programs, but they seem to have a difficult time adjusting to the physical punishment that accrues over a 15-day tournament compared to the single day team matches that make up a university-level tournament. A growing number also come from abroad, with Mongolia being one of the most prominent exporters of sumo talent.

Tournaments

There are six tournaments a year: one in January, March, May, July, September, and November. All of the wrestlers are ranked and split into their divisions. The five highest ranks fight in the top makuuchi division. From highest to lowest, these are: yokozuna, ozeki, sekiwake, komusubi, and maegarishi. In the January 2008 tournament, there will be two yokozuna, four ozeki, two, sekiwake, two komusubi, and thirty-two maegarishi. The lower divisions are similarly organized.

During tournaments, the sumo wrestlers in the upper division have one match a day and, at the end of the tournament, the wrestler with the best record wins the Emperor’s Cup. Other awards are also given out to exceptional wrestlers. Wrestlers are promoted up the ranks when they turn in consistent majority wins. If a wrestler can win two tournaments in a row while ranked at ozeki, he may be promoted to the rank of yokozuna.

Conclusion

Sumo is unique among modern sports because it has carried its origins with it as it has grown. It also one of the few sports where a combatant can find himself pitted against an opponent twice his size. If you are interested in learning more about this sometimes brutal, but always fascinating sport, we will look at each aspect more in-depth in later articles.

Related: Sumo Techniques

Surviving a Japanese Onsen

A trip to Japan is incomplete without a trip to an onsen. Onsens, the hot springs that serve as public baths in Japan, can be confusing for a first timer. However, this addictive tradition is well worth the effort. Here is a quick guide to getting in and out of your first onsen without shaming anyone’s ancestors.

Packing Your Kit 

An onsen kit will make your first onsen go smoothly. It should include:

1. A large towel to dry off with. 
2. A small towel – basically a “modesty” towel to cover your bits. 
3. Shampoo, conditioner, and soap. 
4. Any other necessaries like a razor and a toothbrush. 

Onsens generally sell all these items, but you’ll find it cheaper to pick them up at a convenience store before going. Soap and shampoo are free at higher-priced onsens.

Paying and Undressing 

Many onsens have vending machine style ticket dispensers, but you need to read some Kanji in order to use them. The symbol for adult is 大人 literally meaning, “big person.” If there’s no machine or you can’t understand it, simply go to the front counter and pay at the till. An onsen will normally cost between 400~700 yen. Most onsens are split into men’s (男) and women’s (女). The proper change room should be obvious by color; men’s is usually marked by a blue or green hanging and women’s by a red or pink one. Check with the counter if you have any doubts – better to be safe.

The change room will have cubbyholes with baskets for your clothes and coin lockers for your valuables. The coin lockers return your coins, so use them if they’re there. If there are no lockers, leave your valuables at the front.

Before Getting In 

At this point you’ll be carrying your kit and nervously adjusting your modesty towel, but it’s not time to jump it yet. Inside the onsen, there will be washing areas and a pile of small plastic bowls and stools. Grab a bowl and and find yourself an open spot. Traditionally, you would fill the bowl with water and pour it over yourself to wash, but modern onsens have showers as well as taps. Clean yourself thoroughly before getting into the onsen.

If you are going to shave, do it after going into the onsen at least once just in case you cut yourself. Nobody wants to share a bath with someone who is bleeding. Also, you can carry your modesty towel with you, but wring out any soap or shampoo first.

Leaving 

After slowly boiling yourself clean, you reverse the process: rinse your washing area, put the stool and bowl back, and get dressed. Remember to dry off with the modesty towel before stepping into the change room so you don’t drip all over the floor. Once you’re out, thank the lady at the desk and congratulate yourself on surviving your first onsen (and probably not your last). An onsen is an excellent experience that you can have anywhere in Japan. That said, Aoni Onsen in Aomori still has my vote.