The Challenges of Flying With Children: Babies Are Just As Bad As Pipebombs

When you have a child, you become part of a tribe of sorts. There are things that you discuss only with other parents – and usually only after the two beers you can fit in after your children's bedtime at 8pm and your own at 9:45pm (wild times, I know). These are things that seem frankly criminal when you write them down, like how sleepless nights you fantasized about leaving your screaming and crying child on a stranger's porch (I am not a monster - I would have at least rang the doorbell.). I've now added another story to this cache of dark humor: air travel.

Flying with a child of any age is challenging. Hell, flying as an adult is no great shakes. It seems like planes are being designed to pack the maximum amount of people in the minimum amount of comfort. The economics of airlines dictates that planes are not airworthy until passengers are skin-to-skin with the strangers sitting next to them. This type of thing, plus the fact that a plane is really a metal tube held up by a suspension of belief in gravity, used to make me dread flying.

Now, I have so many more things dread as a parent flying with my child. The first major change between your old travel habits and your family travel habits is the amount of baggage you require. Aito is around 20 pounds and, if packed properly, fits on my lap. Despite the relatively compact nature of my son, he requires another 80 pounds of luggage, not including the baby carry on with diapers, wipes, snacks and clothes, as well as the significant portion of our own carry on given over to his books, toys and eating utensils. My wife and I must have looked like especially put upon pack animals pushing the six check in bags, the three carry on, and our son through the airport.

Thankfully, we were able to check everything and then quickly breeze through security riding on the backs of understanding unicorns. I am, of course, joking. The Edmonton Airport Security – the alert and tireless force that let a passenger fly after taking away his pipe bomb in 2014  – were very concerned about the baby bag. As well they should be.

After all, how could they be sure that the baby we had with us was in fact ours? More importantly, did he pack that bag himself? So the stalwarts of airport security had my wife – who I suspect has radicalized over the course of our marriage – rummage through the bag to pull out the suspicious object. This was, of course, wipes. After opening the potentially lethal package for the security officer, we were allowed to keep our wipes. We cackled manically. Our plan worked. We were now free to commit acts of extreme hygiene at 30,000 feet.

Although we did not, in fact, have a bomb or any act of terror planned for the long flight to Japan, we did feel like terrorists. People boarding the plane flinched at the sight of an infant, anticipating 10 hours of uninterrupted crying. It was my first time flying with a child and, aside from the metric ton of luggage, I had prepared as I usually did – I brought a book.

....

Sorry, I had to take a moment there to let the laughter pass. As you more experienced parents will know, a book is a bit ambitious for in-flight entertainment. I did not do enough reading on the plane to finish a postcard, let alone a book. What was I doing for 10 hours? My wife and I were both providing non-stop entertainment, snacks and soothing to the volatile and sleepless infant we had smuggled aboard. In retrospect, I owe an apology to the Edmonton airport security. They should have tasered us at the check-in counter.

Birthdays: We Mastered Babies, But Now We Have A Toddler

Although I’ve never quite grasped the physics of it, some very intelligent people have declared that time is relative. And I think they are onto something.

To me, it feels like a month, maybe two at most have passed since the arrival of our son. There is, however, some pretty compelling evidence that it has in fact been well over a year. This evidence is, of course, my son himself. At some point – I am guessing it was a Tuesday afternoon – he doubled in size, started walking, sprouted teeth, and mastered iOS8.

This was unfortunate news for us, his parents, as we were just starting to feel confident in our ability to take care of a baby. Now, we no longer have a baby. We have a toddler. What I am trying to say is that, when it was just my wife and I, we were two adults aging gradually enough that it was hard to notice a change year to year, let alone month to month.

Sure, my waistline has been expanded faster than the Russian border with the Ukraine, but that is at least a predictable rate of expansion. With a child as part of our lives, it seems like time is jerking backwards and forwards, much like the PVR does when he gets a hold of the remote.

My son is now over one year old. From now on, we can refer to his age in years rather than just months, although I notice a lot of parents hold onto the months (“he’s 16 months”) perhaps thinking that they can slow down the calendar that way or just not ready to admit that the leap between one year and two or three or sixteen seems a lot smaller than it did at eleven months. I’ve decided to take the opposite approach and start relatively aging myself at my son's rate, so I should be going through a midlife crisis sometime next week and starting to perfect my shuffle table and bridge game for retirement at Christmas 2018.

My thinly veiled fear of mortality aside, the last year and change has been as intense and rewarding as any I can remember. I imagine veteran parents chuckling to themselves as my wife and I struggle to express how incredibly weird and satisfying it is watching a baby go from a 7 pound mass of need and bowel movements to a 20 pound mass of need and bowel movements that also walks.

Parenting is full of milestones besides bowel movements, but it is always the bowel movements that we seem to track most carefully. That said, we did break out in applause when he mastered sitting up and I thought we would be receiving parent of the year awards as he learned to stand on his own.

We have videos and photos (so many photos) of all these important milestones from the first haircut to the first time crawling up the stairs. It is without shame - because really, what shame do I have left? - that I admit we are borderline stalkers when it comes to parenting. My son will never wonder about his childhood because he'll be able to search the metadata in the shared photo library and watch a minute by minute slideshow set to "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

One of the highlights in that photo library will be his first birthday. By a conservative estimate, we put the same amount of time into planning and preparing for his birthday as went into the completion of the Panama Canal. Like many parents, my favorite part of his birthday was the twelve hours of sleep that immediately followed it.

That's not to say it wasn't worth it. We did get a great picture -which we will digitally alter for the next five years to give us time to recover enough to plan another birthday party for him.

An Awkward But Enlightening Afternoon of Photography

This month I had the opportunity to attend a digital photography course through Learn Photography, and it was an experience that’s worth sharing for anyone with even a remote interest in photography. For the course, you need to bring or rent a digital Single Lens Reflex (SLR) camera – basically one of those fancier, bulky cameras that come with all sorts of lenses, tripods and so on.

I packed the office camera and met my instructor, James, in front of the Alberta Legislature. For the first 20 minutes James familiarized me with the camera, explaining concepts like shutter time, aperture and ISO. It turns out that these three elements make all the difference when taking a photo. Using them in combination, you can make plated food look like its glowing, capture the aurora borealis, catch a perfect shot of a car moving at speed and much more.

Since we didn’t have plated food, the aurora borealis or speeding cars in the Legislature grounds, I mostly took pictures of trees, statues and James leaping, posing and running. Oddly enough, spending an afternoon photographing an Asian man is a lot more fun and educational than you might think. James took me through the camera modes and menus and showed me how even a point and click camera has the ability to take better photos. Among the neat tips James supplied were:

Photograph people by zooming in from farther away. The more space you create between your subject and the lens, the flatter the picture will be and the more flattering to your subject (simply put, it makes your subject look thinner). On the flipside, many point and clicks add weight due to a curving effect when little or no zoom is used.

Increase your shutter speed at sporting events – but not too much. If you’ve taken a photo of someone running, you’ve likely noticed how their arms and legs turn into windmills of light – much like the road runner hitting his stride. To minimize this effect, you can increase the shutter speed. Increase it too much and the subject is frozen in space with no sense of motion. The magic is to get a slight blur like a national geographic spread with lions on the hunt. I found that 1/60 or one-sixtieth of a second worked for most people-in-motion shots.

Decrease your shutter speed to photograph in low light. If you are taking pictures in shade or dark, using your flash can distort the image – producing halos, glowing eyes and the like. If you slow down your shutter speed to a second or longer, this gives the camera more time to collect the light needed to get the picture. You can also get neat effects, such as a comet trail of light when cars pass in front of the camera. All of these changes can be made on most digital camera settings menus.

There were many more useful tips and I would encourage anyone with an interest to check out classes through http://cameracourses.ca/. They offer group classes on the weekends so that you’ll have more subjects to choose from than just James. And that will probably cut down on the strange looks you’ll get from the construction workers fixing the fountains.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Alas, for those of you caught up in hanging Christmas lights and buying presents, it turns out that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012 according to the Mayan Calendar.

Yes, some may question why people living in the age of quantum physics and the Internet should worry about the scheduling habits of a people who pulled ropes with thorns through their tongues and genitals to commune with the gods, but those people clearly do not spend enough time on the Internet.

If you do a little searching – and ignore NASA’s page of lies about how the world is definitely not ending, you will find some very interesting people readying themselves for the apocalypse. There seems to be some consensus on remote villages in various parts of Europe being the only safe havens in the coming storm. So this is either the real thing or a savvy ancient Mayan marketing campaign for European vacations.

Like any reasonable person, I like to hedge my bets. That is why I have been stocking up on rifles, ammo, canned goods, generators and ropes with thorns. If the world ends on schedule, please know that it has been a pleasure sharing this earth with you - and I will shoot you if you try to steal my canned tuna.

If, however - in some wild and improbable trick of fate - the earth does not become a post-apocalyptic wasteland on the twenty-first, I’d like to wish you all a merry Christmas and assure you that I would never shoot such wonderful people over canned tuna. Cans of Stagg Chilli, maybe, but never tuna. Merry Christmas!

Working and Living in Japan: Joining Private Club Activities

Previously we looked at how to join a school club in Japan. Now we’ll look at how to join a private club – a club where you can practice and compete with adults as well as receive instruction from qualified club teachers.

Finding a Club

The process of finding an adult club can be a little more complicated. If you are absolutely new to your town of city, the first step is to find the community center (kouminkan) in your area. These will usually have a registry of the clubs that use rooms there as well as an events calendar listing tournaments that the clubs compete it. Even ikebana (flower arranging) has annual competitions. As with school clubs, it is possible to do the research just by staking out the club areas. Simply, hang around a baseball diamond after working hours to find an adult baseball club or go to the martial arts center (shidoukan or budoukan) to find a kendo club.

There are also job-related clubs - for example, a high school teacher’s soccer team - that may be easier to join than a fully private club. Teachers’ clubs generally have a lighter practice schedule because of the heavy workload Japanese take on. The usual time for people to view and join clubs is in the spring when the Japanese year traditionally begins. As many people are shuffled around in both the public and private sector at this time, it means clubs lose members and are searching for new ones. It is fine to check out clubs at any time, but just keep in mind that some may not be looking for new members right when you’re ready to join.

Before Joining Up

It is important to know your limitations when joining a private club. Sports and martial arts clubs usually have several levels to choose from. When a Japanese member joins, he or she is assessed by the teachers/coaches/management and placed at the appropriate level. With foreigners, however, the people in charge are occasionally too timid and let the foreigner decide their own level. If you play soccer at a beginners level, it’ll be difficult for you to fit into an A-class club because people in that class have played competitive soccer for six years or more. Similarly, if you play hockey at a university level, but join a C-class team, the other teams you play will be understandably upset.

What if the club nearest to you doesn’t have an appropriate level? There may be a practice-only option. This is an option that doesn’t exist for most Japanese people, but many clubs will make an exception for a foreigner in the name of international friendship. You can usually practice with a club even if you won’t be allowed to enter competition with them. This is something you will have to discuss directly with the club managers as it may affect your club fees.

Paying Your Dues

Joining a private club involves a financial commitment along with the time commitment. Many private clubs in Japan are run like small-market sports teams, complete with team managers and coaching staff that are paid by the club. The costs of joining a club vary according to the type and the level. For example, a kimono club starts cheap (not including the cost of buying a kimono), but as you progress in levels your lessons increase in price.

The same is true of sports club. C-class hockey clubs practice the same amount as A-class clubs, but they enter less tournaments in a year, and that is reflected in the membership price. On top of the initial fee, you may need to pay out-of-pocket for special events or travel expenses. Also, there will be instances where you will be expected to give money as a gift. The hat is passed around whenever a member gets married, has a child, or someone in their immediate family dies. Usually this amounts to a maximum 5000 yen per person, and it’d be bad taste to opt out.

Getting Out

The same methods used for school clubs – direct, excuse, rotational – work for privates clubs, but you may not be able to get your club fees returned. If you are considering coming back after awhile or going on a rotational basis, you may have to pay the entire club fee for the year even if you only go occasionally. This is standard for Japanese club members and, although they may give you special consideration as a foreigner, don’t expect it. Generally speaking, the unused portion of your club fees is considered apology money for quitting the club.

Conclusion

Private clubs are an excellent way to meet people in your area with similar interests. They are also one of the best places to increase your Japanese ability. It is important to remember that Japanese people take clubs very seriously, so you should do your due diligence in finding a club that you’ll be happy staying with for awhile. That said, don’t let caution stop you from using clubs as a gateway into your community and Japanese culture as a whole.

Joining a School Club in Japan

Joining a club is one of the quickest ways to adjust to Japan and take part in your community. Whether you want to shoot hoops, shoot arrows (kyuudo), arrange flowers (ikebana), make pottery, study drumming (taiko), or strap on a mawashi and moonlight as a sumo wrestler, there is probably a club for you. We'll look at how to join a school club.

The Japanese Club System

Clubs have an important place in Japanese society. Students choose a club when they start junior high school and remain in that club for three years, choosing to either continue with the same club in high school or try out a different club for the last three years of schooling. Clubs are not mandatory, but there is a lot of pressure to join from teachers, parents, and peers, so there are very few students who don’t participate in some type of club during their school days. Sports related clubs like soccer and baseball start as early as grade 3 with practices every day.

Finding a School Club

If you are working for the public school system, finding a school club is very easy. Most clubs begin within an hour of the end of classes and, although it is better to talk to the teacher in charge of the club first, you can find the club you’re looking for by wandering around one of your schools. If you’re not a regular sight at a particular school, it’s important to visit the teachers’ room and announce yourself to either the principal, vice-principal, or the schedule teacher and tell them you want to watch the club activities.

Joining Up

Joining a school club is usually very easy. You need to observe the club once or twice to see if it’s what you want. If there’s a sport that you’ve been doing for a long time, you can probably just show up in training wear and try out the club on the first day – ask the club teacher beforehand. If you are good, the teacher may even ask you to take some of the training responsibilities. On the other hand, if you want to try something that you’ve never done before, it requires a bit more consideration.

If it is a training intensive club like Judo – where both participants safety depends on their knowing the proper techniques - you’ll have to catch up in a way that doesn’t affect the students’ progress. In all likelihood, however, both the students and teacher will be happy to have you. Likewise if the club is material intensive like art, you’ll want to either buy your own materials or pay the club fee and have extra materials ordered through the school. Make sure to watch two or more practices before making your decision so you know exactly what you are signing up for.

Getting Out

What do you do if you’ve joined a club and you find out it’s not for you? Ideally this won’t happen if you’ve researched the club properly. That said, it is easy to over-join and end up running yourself ragged with several clubs, each requiring significant time commitments. There are several ways to get out of a school club. Simply telling the club teacher directly is one, but it may affect your ability to join clubs at that school in the future.

Next, there is the excuse method, excusing yourself from practice - no actual reason is needed, just say you can’t make it – for a few weeks and then just not going again. This seems to be more acceptable in the non-confrontational sense. The final method is not to completely quit, but rather go on a rotational basis. For example, sports clubs often practice for two hours, with the first hour focusing technical practice and the last hour being matches. You can work out an agreement with the club teacher to show up for the last hour of the club once or twice a week – even once or twice a month – and thus keep your connection with the club and the students while reclaiming most of your time.

Summing Up

Although school clubs are good for sports and some basic cultural clubs, they are limited in a couple ways. One, you’re a teacher and an adult, so you don’t want to go full-out in a sports club like Judo and accidentally hurt one of your students. Lawsuits are very rare in Japan, particularly within club activities, but injuring a student still leaves you feeling terrible. Two, the students are usually new to the activities and sometimes the teacher is as well, so you may find the level of instruction lacking. The best reason to join school clubs is to get to know your students, rather than to get a workout or master a new art form.

Teaching English in Japan: Important Questions You Should Ask Recruiting Agencies

This article will focus on what you need to ask when choosing between recruiting agencies. For an introduction to recruiting agencies, see What You Need To Know About Recruiting Agencies.

Questions to Ask

Once you have a list of agencies offering the type of job you’re seeking, you need to ask some basic questions:

How are You Paid?

Are you paid per lesson or by hours on the job? Eikawa schools generally pay by the shift or month, and this means you speak directly to your superiors about any issues you have. In contrast, public schools can pay in a number of ways. If schools are paying you directly, or a board of education is paying you directly, then any issues you have with holidays, sick days, etc. should be taken up with them. If the school board pays the recruiting company and the recruiting company pays you, then any problems you have must be resolved through the company. This can be useful if your company is supportive, but working through a middleman can also be frustrating.

Is There Training and Support?

If this is your first time teaching, this question may be more important than how you get paid. Don’t be satisfied by a, “yes,” in this case. Ask about the training schedule and whether you can see a sample of the training manuals. Also ask for the contact information of current employees. If they refuse on the grounds of privacy it can be just that, but many agencies do have employees who volunteer to field questions. Whether the lack of references is a warning bell depends on how they answer the other questions. As a last resort, you can go into the message boards and find opinions on the training and support of just about every company, but take them with a grain of salt.

What Are the Benefits?

You need to know if you’re going to be enrolled in any benefit plans: health, pension, unemployment, etc. Generally speaking, most private companies have been skirting these issues with a, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” As a trade-off for a higher salary, foreign teachers are expected to arrange their own insurance, either with their home country in the form of extended travel coverage or with a Japanese firm. In reality, this results in a lot of un-insured foreigners praying that they don’t get seriously ill. If you are expected to carry your own insurance, make certain that the salary offered reflects that cost.

What Happens if I Get Sick?

This is stressing a point, but the reply tells you a lot about the company and the job. If being too sick to go to work results in you forfeiting salary, you might consider looking elsewhere.

Understanding Your Tradeoffs

A company that offers extensive training and support will probably offer a lower salary than a company that just places you (for a fee) and washes their hands. Similarly, company that enrolls you in benefit programs will withhold more salary than a company that doesn’t – you pay a premium to that company for taking the hassle of keeping your own insurance while in Japan. As long as you understand the trade-offs you’re making, you can find a company that suits you. It definitely involves more thought than simply going to the one with the highest salary.

Conclusion: Getting Out of the Recruiting Game

Once you find a company you like and have spent some time teaching in Japan, you’ll have more power to choose your next job if you want to stay. Living within Japan and having a valid working visa opens up many private jobs directly linked to a school board or the smaller, non-franchised eikawa schools with better terms. To compete for these positions, you’ll need to work on your Japanese, your teaching, and, most importantly, keep a record of the work you’ve already done in Japan.